[Prologue: I wrote this hilarious Essay in 2008, after I moved to Delhi in 2006, at a time ‘road-rage’ was fashionable on the Delhi roads, and when you could get shot for daring to challenge someone messing with the traffic rules! Perhaps, it’s still about the same!]
I’ve always been fascinated by Cowboys, Red-Indians (and John Wayne movies) and the wild-wild West. I never realised how much of an Urban Cowboy I had become living on the wild-wild Delhi ‘trail.’
I drifted in from yonder Southern state of Tamil Nadu and speak with a cool ‘idli-sambhar’ drawl. I wear two ‘temper guns’ slung low on the waist, the butts smooth with constant use. I had almost become a domesticated guy before riding, into Delhi, many years ago, when a certain Delhi Lieutenant / Sheriff made me realise that without an ID, I have no identity and live in a lawless Country. For months, I laid sprawled on the sidewalks and then one day, I bought myself a 45 Horse Hyundai at the Double ‘H’ Ranch – a mix of Korean & Indian stock, said the Dealer – and rode into Town!
I ride furiously, the spur always drawing blood. I ferociously guard the trail and shoot down anyone crossing my path, both guns blazing. I am a name to reckon with in these parts and they call me SUDDEN. At the cross-roads, I ride like hell fearing a ‘Red Indian’ ambush but slow-down on seeing Orange and stop on seeing Green. I feed my Horse speed-grass with energy boosters, at the local filling station and saddle him up myself!
I met a sullen beauty with raven black hair (cascading to her waist – I wished it did!) and we bought ourselves a place at the edge of the Delhi creek, near the Yamuna-Grande River, overlooking the Double ‘H’ Ranch, and called it the Double ‘M’ Ranch. We raised a single kid who grew into an Urban Cowboy as well, but drove Colts like we did ’em grown up Stallions! We often meet-up over mug coffee at the Home camp-fire place, ‘herding cow stories’. He affectionately calls me ‘Dad’, tosses over an iPhone and sleeps in the saddle – but watches my back!
I’ve never been bushwhacked and live to tell my tale.